Sorrow
by HedwigBlack
Summary: Neville and Parvati are forced to face a terrible tragedy


Neville sat at the edge of the bed, his back to his wife. The room was chilly but he sat completely still letting the goose bumps crawl across his skin. The wind outside howled mournfully which was quite fitting and for the first time he had to hold back tears that hadn't come all week. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Parvati was lying on her side wrapped in a quilt. But she wasn't asleep. She hadn't slept for days. Her eyes were wide open staring at nothing. He'd tried everything he could think of to make her more comfortable. He had tried to be strong for her because he knew that's what she needed right now. But he had to admit as he looked out window at the falling snow creating drifts in the yard, that he was exhausted, because he needed someone to be strong for him too.

The week had started out as the happiest of his life. Parvati was pregnant with a boy (or so he had insisted) and the couple had rejoiced and told all of their friends and family immediately. Baby clothes were bought, the crib was put together, the nursery was painted, and Lavender had come over every day to help, much to Neville's annoyance. But it was still the most perfect three days of Neville and Parvati's life, until an unfortunate accident changed everything.

Neville put his head in his hands and closed his eyes trying to block out the memory of what had happened that fateful Wednesday. But he knew deep down that he would never forget receiving the owl at work that his beloved wife was in St. Mungo's. He'd rushed out of the greenhouse, freeing the third years from having to repot a bunch of mandrakes. He'd sent a patronus to the Headmaster, explaining his abrupt departure, though he couldn't recall if he'd said anything coherent.

All he knew was Parvati had been going to Apparate to Diagon Alley and she'd hesitated. She'd splinched herself and his mind reeled at the possibilities of what that could mean. He'd rushed to the hospital to find that Padma was already there. He didn't need to ask for which he was almost grateful because he didn't think he could stand to voice the question that had instantly risen to the forefront of his mind. The look on her face said all that he needed to know, and the moment of realization and sadness was overwhelming and as much as he wanted to scream and cry, he found that he couldn't. He'd then heard Parvati's heart-wrenching screams from the room down the hall and it was enough for Neville to put aside his own grief to run to her side.

He could never know the pain she was going through. He could never even begin to fathom the sorrow and torment that was caused by the greatest joy literally being taken away from you. And he could never even attempt to whisper comforting things in her ear or tell her that it was going to be okay because he'd discovered long ago that sometimes words are not enough and sometimes not everything is going to be okay.

Parvati sighed shakily behind him and he looked over to see that she was beginning to close her eyes to sleep. A single tear slid down her face. A moment later he heard her steady breathing that told him for a little while she might find relief in slumber. Or so he hoped.

He got up from the bed and found himself being drawn to the room next door to theirs. It was the one that they'd turned into a nursery. It seemed so strange that only a week ago this had been a spare bedroom, and a nursery hadn't even been thought of. How strange that joy could be given and then taken away so quickly. He'd just been getting used to the idea of being a father and all of the terrifying responsibilities that entailed when he found that all of his worries were over.

He wondered what kind of father he would have been. It was hard to imagine, not really having a father figure growing up.

He reached into the crib and gripped the stuffed bear that Luna had given him. It was wearing a sweater with strange patterns all over it to attract an imaginary group of fairy-like creatures that would cause the baby to grow up to be a genius or something. He couldn't remember what Luna had said they were called.

He let the bear fall to his side as he wished with all his heart that there was a fairy of some sort that could have watched over Parvati that day. He wished he could live in Luna's world. He had a feeling that miscarriages didn't happen in Luna's world and that splinching yourself in some twisted way was a sign of good luck because nothing with that girl had ever been what it seemed.

He didn't know how long he stood there in the nursery for no one. It could have been a few minutes or a few hours, but he was startled out of his stupor by Parvati in the doorway. She clutched her robe about her and leaned against the doorframe, her shiny black hair a mess, but Neville had always liked it best that way. Her eyes were puffy and red but there was a shadow of a smile on her face. It was forced, but it was the first sign of life she'd shown since she'd come home from St. Mungo's and Neville breathed a sigh of relief. He beckoned to her and she put her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

"I dreamed about him," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He kissed her forehead and pulled away to look down at her.

She gave him that weak smile again, but this time it seemed entirely genuine. "He looked like you."


End file.
